


The Captain of my heart

by Unseeliesidh



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Time Travel, first person POV, i'll be updating tags as chapters progresses so keep an eye out for that, just fluff and love, just rename this fic as Levi appreciation fic, little angst, multi chap, non binary hanji zoe, past major character death, people from Mitras suck, reincarnation?? idk, riren - Freeform, smut but can be skipped
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-12-08
Packaged: 2018-08-29 02:58:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8472814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unseeliesidh/pseuds/Unseeliesidh
Summary: When Eren stumbles upon a book that he has never seen. He doesn't think much of it.It was just a book, after all. It couldn't do anything like transport him back to a world with terrifying man eating giants, which had a bleak future and was full of people that loathed him to death. Or lead him across a journey of trust and betrayal, of happiness and hopelessness that ends with him falling in love with a formidable captain with a cold heart that had been broken before...Right?!





	1. 2016

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again!
> 
> For those of you who have already read my fics: HELLO AGAIN!! for those for are new here: Hi! I often tend to write really dark fanfictions which gets me a lot of hate. Incase you decide to check it out please know that I do not condone that behaviour. 
> 
> This time I decided to do something different: To write a canon divergent story. The idea has been revolving around my mind since god knows when and I couldn't write it until yesterday because I couldn't piece together the different part of the fic (hope that makes sense) For that reason, even though the fic loosely follows canon, please know when I had originally thought of the plot a lot of things which made sense then are no longer true. This means that there are certain characters that are alive and the plotlines that don't make sense. Now if I try to change the plot to make it canon compliant I won't be able to because then I would have no story left. A lot of people won't be bothered by this but please, I know some people are sucker for details. This fic isn't for you, I apologize for that. 
> 
> Just a few notes, you really don't have to read:  
> 1) I have an intense dislike of reading or writing anything with OCs. But due to the nature of this fic I had to put in some OCs but they're going to be minor and you don't even have to care about them!  
> 2)I won't be exploring Time Travel dynamics, cause honestly? I have no idea how it works. I am just mainly focusing on Modern Eren back in the old world, and most importantly Riren. Cause I am a total Riren Trash. So sorry :(   
> 4) This fic..honestly? I am not going for the shock factor, which is something I love to incorporate it the fics I write so it will be HIGHLY PREDICTABLE, I swear you all will be like, "I CALLED IT!" from the first paragraph. I am just a smol writer writing away so I am sorry for no plottwists or .. any interesting plot tbh  
> \----  
> 5) >This is for my YLIAM readers, hey! I know you all have been waiting for Levi vs Mike so much ;_; I am so sorry. A03 somehow deleted what all I had wrote and I hadn't made a back up copy so I was bummed about that. It was my fault and lesson learned so keep an eye out for that in the future!  
> 6) Tired of reading the biggest author note ever? sorry :( please continue on! :)

_It all began with M_ e bringing in the cardboard boxes of clothes (or atleast I assumed that they were clothes) and dropping them haphazardly on the other boxes that were already occupying the floor. I give the whole room a disapproving glance before turning around and stepping out of the way because I knew Mikasa was bringing in the rest of the boxes and I did not want to be in box throwing range. The room was basically overflowing with boxes, a dead giveaway that I was a new homeowner.   
  
Even though this house was in my name, it wasn't purchased by me. It was a gift from my dad for getting top marks in my university. Last year I got a car and a high efficient solar powered vacuum cleaner from my mom. You'd think it doesn't make any sense for her to give it to a twenty year old college student, but it was a subtle jab at me for not cleaning up my room in my parent's mansion or the other apartment I used to live in before moving here according to her satisfaction. Not like I cared about cleaning, because I honestly didn't have enough time between studies and, _well_ , more studies to clean my house. Besides I could pay someone for cleaning it up! mom never understood, because she wasn't born with a silverspoon in her mouth like I was nor did she had too much to study because she was a natural genius and got her BA degree in martial arts easily. She couldn't understand why me, a not natural genius, couldn't find time to tidy up the house myself.

I watch as Mikasa enters the front door, effortlessly carrying three boxes in each hand without breaking any sweat. I smile as I notice Hannes trudge in behind her carrying the last box in his gloved hands. I was sure that Mikasa would have carried in that too, but Hannes being the refined chauffeur he was, he'd never let Mikasa carry everything on her own, even if she could do it easily. Had it been someone else Mikasa would have given that person an earful for undermining her strength, but Hannes was like a second father to us, he took care of both me and Mikasa when our parents were busy with their respective work. He gracefully sets the box, which was larger than the rest, on the top of the other boxes.

"All done, Mr. Eren" He smiles at us before turning around and heading back to the limo.  
  
I sigh after he leaves and turn to Mikasa beside me, " I feel like he is disrespecting us with acting all so formal. But he's always been like that."

Mikasa shakes her head before turning towards me, "Yeah he is like that.." she echoes with a sad cadence in her voice.

Mikasa was usually chirpy and happy but I could guess why she was being so sad. I was moving away from her street and that meant she couldn't keep a "check" on what I was doing on a daily basis. It was unbearable sometimes because of her overbearing nature, but she has always been like this. Ever watchful for her family members. 

  
"Mikasa, I am still a five minute drive away from your house." I mutter to ease her mind up. 

  
"Yeah, but," she sighs, "What if something happens to you and you have no one to help you? What if you get hurt and are in excruciating pain? What if a robber breaks in the house? I am just worried, okay?"

  
"Mikasa," I groan, "I can take care of myself okay? I am a grown man. If I need any help you'll be the first person i'd call, I promise." 

 

"Ofcourse you're the pinnacle of adulthood, and I have nothing to worry about," She says sarcastically, "But call me if you need anything, okay? If something happens to you and you don't tell me I'll kick your ass AND burn all your classics."   
  
"Nooo," I say dramatically, knowing she'd never hurt my precious books, "That's just cruel threat Mikasa!"   
  
"Damn right, it is. And although I'd like to stay here longer and threaten you more, I have a red carpet to attend at four." She sighs and I give her a sympathetic look. Even after twenty years she wasn't used to the whole red carpet thing she attended to show support to her parents' new movies. The Ackerman's were A- listers and were among Hollywood's biggest power couples. Mikasa was the poster star child and everyone loved her. What was not to love? she was perfect and lovely in every way and thus was popular demand in Hollywood. It was a surprise she never let success go to her head, she was very down to earth, always taking out time for me and my parents. I watch as she makes her way through the boxes before stopping abruptly at the doorway. "Oh," she groans, "I almost forgot. Your mom texted me yesterday and she said she'll be around your place soon to, _ahem_ , inspect if you cleaned up your house." 

What? _oh no_ , that was a very bad news. Mom would murder and bury me in this very room if she sees all these unpacked boxes. Damnit, I was planning to clean it soon anyways! Soon being _atleast_ a week but hey! I was still gonna do it anyways.  
  
"Okay, okay," I scowl, "I'll clean up."

Mikasa shakes her head without turning around.

"You're a grown man, right? I won't save you this time, I warn you," She says threateningly, "Behave like an adult okay? Bye, i'll see you soon."

She turns around and waves at me before walking out and locking the door behind her. I hear her light footsteps as she walks across the porch and I head over to the window looking over the street to where the limo stood and watch as she makes her way to Hannes, who opens the door for her and after she gets in, he closes the door. He walks to the other side towards the driver's seat and gets in the car. It was a nice sight to see people not gawking as the Limo pulled away, since this being generally the richest part of the city. Most of the one percent in this city lived on this street and most of them probably owned Limo themselves to care about the one I owned.

This leaves me to wonder, just how did my dad managed to get the owner to sell this house to him? No one in their right mind would sell this property because of the perfect location by the beach, and this very house? the land this house was built upon and I had a tie that went all the way back to when I was four. I used to play here with Mikasa all the time. This used to be my favorite place to be at and every day I used to beg my parents to come at this part. I don't know why, the beach had a very magical feeling to it, the waves crashing on the beach, the golden sand and the azure blue skies were bewitching.

Something good was meant to happen in this place.

As a boy I had grown up in this place, and I could clearly remember when my dad told me that he won't be able to take me to this part anymore, because this very beach house was going to be built here. That had broken my little heart and I had cried so much. I didn't come out of my room for a week, no matter how much my parents, or Mikasa coaxed me to. They still managed to get me to the beach after sometime, but it didn't fell magical to me anymore. 

To think that the reason my love for beach was ruined was the very thing I was the owner of. It was a feeling I couldn't describe.

So ofcourse I wasn't going to clean up my house just yet, I had just got something so significant to my childhood back! I could feel the excitement bubbling in me and a childish joy take over. I was so ready to go to the beach and feel love of the ocean rush back in me. And so I quickly head over to the large window overlooking the endless water and the view took my breath away. This was it. I was back home.

 

The sun was shining brightly; there were children and seagulls screaming at a distance when I sat down on the edge of the window. I felt like joining them at this very moment, but first I needed to get my shorts out. No way I was going to the beach in sweaty jeans and formal shoes. I was trying to remember which nondescript brown box held my beach shorts when I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. Frowning, I take it out as it vibrates again with another new message. I type in the password and sigh when I realize it was Mikasa messaging.

 

_Eren, don't just sit and stare at the beach like an idiot. Your mom is an experienced Krav Maga instructor, do I need to remind u that?_

_She'll kick ur ass if she realizes that you didn't clean anything up and I don't know when she'll be coming over to your place._

 

I groaned, damnit, Mikasa just had to remind me that and spoil my mood. But, I knew that it was true. Was I _that_ predictable? generally no, but in this case I was. Ofcourse I'd be sitting beside the window and neglecting taking out the stuff from the boxes and being responsible. But if Mikasa knew I was procrastinating, then there was a very good chance that my mom knew this too. There was not a single person I feared more than my mom, a renowned Krav Maga instructor who only taught the best of the best. I had, personally, never got my ass kicked by her but I have seen people underestimate her because of her sweet face and general good nature. And I had no doubt she'd do the same to me.   
  
So I keep my phone down and dejectedly head back to the living room and towards the sea of boxes. Just how much stuff I had? I wonder as I stare at the pile of boxes, wishing they'd magically unpack themselves and vanish from the front of my eyes. I sigh and head towards the box Hannes had placed on the top of the other boxes and unlike the other boxes, I had an idea about what was in it.

It was my Photo albums and books.

Specifically, my childhood pictures and my classics and college books. I first take the albums out and open one of them, _ah_ the generation before phones.  The pictures were full of my family and Mikasa's in different events: All of us at the beach, Mikasa and her parents at their premiers. When we were ten and dressed up as Batman and Wonderwoman on Halloween... I smile at all those memories flowing through my mind triggered by the photographs.

I set the albums on one side and then begin to take out my college books, they were all heavy as hell and I felt bad for poor Hannes, who had to carry them inside. I set them on the other side. After them came out the classics otherwise known as my precious properties. Used copies of _Catch-22, The Catcher In The Rye, Lord Of Flies, Pride and Prejudice_ and so many more sat nestled in the box. I take each one of them out slowly, and carefully, and set them beside the albums.  I might be really rich but there was something about used books. The dog ears, and worn covers were usually a sign that these books had been loved once. That feeling was better than any new book could give me.

But as I take them out and smooth the covers, something catches my eye. Nestled among the used book was a small book in a decrepit condition. The cover that was barely hanging on, was of green colour. Frowning, I take it out and carefully place it on my lap, _that's odd_. I knew all the books I owned and I had, never in my life seen this book. What the hell? I try to discern the title but it's too faded out. So I pick it up and head towards the nearest light source: The window. I tilt the book so that the light falls on the cover, and I realize the cover is actually forest green but that was all. I still could hardly read the title.

There was no author, no art on the cover and not like something I'd buy. Had I packed my parents' book by mistake when I was taking the books out from our library? I had no idea. But I was curious now, what book was it? a journal on martial arts or a scientific paper on medicine? Or was it something else entirely? I open it to the first page and realize the title is written on the yellow paper itself: 

  
_Humanity's greatest disappearance._

  
Oh wow, it sounded interesting alright, but not something my parents would read. Curiosity thoroughly piqued now, I head over to my favorite place: Window near the beach. I settle myself down in a comfortable position, and let the book fall open on my lap. The sunlight casts a buttery glow as I turn to the first page, and I begin reading a book that would soon turn my life upside down. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it begins :)


	2. Sina

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something weird happens to Eren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HihihI! I am so so sorry!! I had comments and I didn't reply. I had to take break from all the election drama and I went off AO3,which was just grand because when I came back to the site I realized that I had written only 1/4th of the chapter. 
> 
> So I sat down yesterday and today and wrote and rewrote the whole thing. Idk.. this chapter felt too rushed. It is a filler chapter anyways so..OTL   
> The interesting stuff begins next chapter so I am sorry for any boredom caused by this one, please don't abandon me!! 
> 
> Without further ado...

_"The titan is gaining on us! We won't make it; we need to distract it or we will be eaten!"_

 

_"Don't you think I realize that? That damn titan sneaked up to us. It must be an abnormal one.. "_

 

_"I don't care about that..Levi, it's only us now... I have to do something.."_

 

_"Eren, don't you DARE do anything! I am still your captain! don't you dare do anything without my permission!"  
_

 

_"I can't Levi, If I don't..we'll die. You'll die."_

 

_"Eren! We'll make it, have hope in me. I'll protect you."_

 

_"Okay, Eren?"_

  __  
  
"I'm sorry Levi, it has to end like this.  _Everyone needs you, lead them to the freedom."_

 

_"NO! No no no stop..."_

_  
"Promise me that you'll s_ _ee the ocean for me?"_

_"I..."_

 

I woke up with a start. 

 

Wait, when did I fall asleep? The last I remember was that I was sitting in front of the window reading the book. _That book was something else_ , the story just..pulled me in and I don't even remember anything else. The world just faded away and my eyes were glued to the pages. It was a story about these things called Titans, humongous giant beasts who ate humans. There was something about a wall keeping them out and amazingly, I don't remember anything else I had read other than that. All I can recall is that I could vividly imagine standing on the ground, looking up to the wall and feeling amazed at the fact that it was all that was standing between those horrendous beings and me, and the next second I knew I was engulfed in darkness.  
  
Had I been so mesmerized by the book that I didn't notice that I fell asleep? Was this some kind of a lucid dream? Why could I feel things like hard ground below me and smell slight smoke in the air? was that natural? 

  
  
These thoughts raced through my mind as I open my eyes. 

  
  
If someone asked me how I felt at that very moment I couldn't answer. Shocked, disbelieve, amazed just scratched the surface. _How was this possible?_

 

How could I be dreaming of standing in front of the very walls I had just been reading about?

 

It was a huge wall, around 50 meters high or so, and it looked too damn realistic for a dream. I take a step back and turn around to see trees adorning the perimeter, creating a small natural wall of their own. _Weird_ , I don't remember reading about trees.

Now that I think of it, I couldn't remember what else was there other than the wall. The memory of the book quickly slipped away from my mind and I couldn't recall the thoughts I had just a minute ago. Something starting with T...

  
  
"I swear to you Ryder, I heard someone!"

 

I gasp and turn to the direction the high pitched voice is coming from in between the trees. _Could you hear things in dreams?_

 

"What the fuck do you mean? We scared away the locals didn't we?" 

  
_Locals_? 

  
I couldn't wait till I woke up and told Mikasa all about this. This was _so_ weird. I was dreaming about some crazy ass things. I never thought hearing things were possible in dreams..did that mean I could talk to these people too? 

  
  
I shrugged, _what was there to lose?_  

 

  
"Hello!" I call out and the two men talking immediately stop. I could hear the birds chirping now and trees swaying in wind because it got so quiet.

 _Definitely weird_ , why do I feel like I made a deadly mistake?

  
  
"Hello?" I call out again, wondering what happened. I walk towards the trees when I step on something. I look down and received the second shock of the day.   
  
It was the faded green book that I had been reading just before I fell asleep! It was lying there on the ground. I bent to pick it up when I heard a rustle in front of me.   
  
Due to a hunch I couldn't explain I kicked the book away from me. The softbound went flying before dropping near a bush just as two men broke out of the tree cover and stopped dead when they saw me. That didn't last very long though, before I could think of a greeting they reacted. Lightening quick and before I knew, I was on the ground with my hands pinned on my back and someone was holding my legs down.   
  
I coughed as the dirt settled around me, was I just _tackled_? 

  
  
"Told you Ryder, here's a young boy tryna prove that he can rebel against us!" The man spat, and I tried to crane my head to see his face but to no avail.  

I started to panic, the confusion of what the fuck was going on and the fact I could not move made me agitated and anxious, and that in turn made me struggle more. 

The guy, I believe Ryder, snarled when I wouldn't stop, "Stop kid! For the love of Sina, what's your name?" 

 

 _"Eren_ ," I coughed out. 

 

And suddenly it went quiet again but this time the hands gripping me got tighter.

 

"No fucking wonder," Ryder chuckles, "you rebellious kid, think that you can play the Military police?" and he spat on the ground near me causing me to growl automatically, what the hell was this guy's problem? what did I do to him to receive such a treatment?   
  
It was the wrong thing to do because I felt the temperature suddenly turn icy and the mood turn dangerous, before I could understand what happened Ryder snarled near my ear, "You..you piece of shit. How dare a scum like you growl at your superior? I.will.kill.you." He twisted my hands further and I cried out from the pain of it, the sharp chilling pain traveled up my arm and I felt my body weaken. _Shit_ , was he serious about killing me?

 

"Cut it out Ryder!" The other man gripes, "Lets take him to the town square and beat him up for everyone to see! this will quench any other rebellion attempts, heh." 

  
  
The hands loosen on me as Ryder contemplates the idea and I sigh in relief. The throbbing pain was still there but atleast the weight on top of me was gone.   
Not for long though, Ryder yanks at my arms and pulls me up. And this was the first time I properly got to see who so called these Military police were. They were two middleaged men with small black beady eyes, and before I could analyze them further they pushed me forward.   
  
"Where are you taking me!" I struggle against the hold but two against one odds didn't seem good. Sure I was also practiced in Krav Maga because of my mom but I needed space to fight, with my hands behind my back and another man ready to tackle me, plus I was in shock from what all had just happened. My luck didn't look good. The men didn't answer as they pushed me through the bushes and onto a pathway. From there I could see a large town running along the enormous wall. 

 

"We're gonna make you and whatever low level rebellious group you came from, regret. Pray to Sina that we don't kill you for disrespecting us with your presence." He says the words gleefully in my ears and I could hear the plain hatred in his voice. Cold sweat gathered in my palms and a spine chilling shiver raced through my back. Was this the way how I will died? Tortured in a foreign town I didn't know anything about? 

 

Who'll tell my parents what happened? What about Mikasa? That somehow I got transported in this hostile world and was killed by the very people that should be protecting me? 

  
  
"Ooh! I didn't know we had murder planned today!" A rather feminine voice called out.

  
Hands tightened on me as Ryder swore under his breath, "Hanji." He hissed. 

  
"Ah my dear Ryder! Going against my orders I see? I am heart broken~" The voice grew nearer and nearer and I wanted to turn around badly and see the person who just saved my life. _But did she?_   I didn't know if she was going to join in and kill me herself! _But_..from Ryder's voice I could clearly hear the strong dislike he had for the speaker. And the word _'orders'_ told me that these men were below in status compared to whoever was speaking. 

  
  
That meant that there was a chance for me to survive if I could get this person to command these so called policemen off me!  Even if she would kill me herself after this, I would have more chances to escape..

  
So I started to struggle again, with renewed hope, but Ryder snarled again and without any warning he pushes me to the ground and kicks me hard in the stomach before I could defend myself. A sharp agonizing pain blooms where his boot made contact with my skin and I curl over in defense before he could kick me again. Still, I bare my teeth at him. I willed myself to get up and beat him to the pulp because _how dare he hurt me._ But I couldn't do anything, not with the amount of pain I was already in, and the fact the other dude would stop me before I could lay my hands on Ryder. Then I would be dead for sure. If Ryder thought I should be killed since I growled at him because of some fucked up hierarchy he followed, then he would torture me to death. And I was not looking forward to that. 

 

But Ryder didn't notice my defiance, he was busy fuming over the lady- Hanji - my eyes widen when I notice him take a subtle fighting stance with his feet pushed apart and him taking out a sharp wicked blade ever so slightly which he hid behind his leg. 

  
"You stupid bitch!" Ryder snapped as he gripped his blade tighter. "I will kill this boy here and I dare you whiny little cunt to stop me!" 

 

 _Oh no,_ did he mean to kill me with that blade? I swallow painfully and that's when I get a soft metallic taste in my mouth. _Fuck, I was bleeding._

  
  
"Oh you dare me! my, my," and I could literally hear a smile in the lady's voice, a goddamn smile. Didn't she notice the way the Ryder was glaring at her or was she indifferent to the fact that he was soon going to do something drastic? What was wrong with her! did she want to die? "If you touch that civilian again I will have no choice but to kill you. And I rather not kill you cause i'm messy~ and _he'll_ get mad if I come back with dirty clothes." 

  
I whimpered in pain but also felt slight relief, this crazy lady was here to save me even if she didn't notice that Ryder was ready to slash my throat at any given moment. She was on my side and I felt like Ryder knew that and he couldn't take in the fact. He roared, and instead of trying to hurt me he steps _away_ from me. This gives me the opportunity to look up and I see the Hanji for the first time. She had brown hair, and crazy scientist goggles rested atop her nose. There was a manic smile on her face but her eyes were ever so sharp and intelligent. She wore a forest green cloak over her body so I had no way to tell exactly if she was petite or straight up built. It was a mystery- _just like her_. 

 

But even the smile couldn't placate Ryder. I could see her watching him with caution because he looked furious, and that's how I knew that there was going to be a fight. Looks like Hanji knew this too because she takes out two giant blades from her cloak. I gazed at it in awe, they were unlike anything I had ever seen. She pushed her legs slightly apart, and held one sharp blade in her left hand and the other on the right. But she didn't make a move. Which was a fucking stupid thing to do because the very next second Ryder attacked.

She didn't move once as Ryder yelled out a sort of battle cry as he pounced, swords in hand and thirst for death in his eyes. He snarled as he neared her but Hanji still stood there, watching the fight with a detached interest.     
   
  
I wanted to scream at her, _what are you doing? are you fucking nuts?_ Ryder was going to cut her in half, did she want to die that badly?

 

But the second Ryder reached her and a millisecond before he swiped his blades are her, she finally moved..

 

By taking a step back. 

 

 _That's it,_ she just took a step back, but the smallest of steps caused the biggest consequences. She dodged the deadly attack like it was a child play and that caused Ryder to slash at the air instead of her. That lead his neck and side to be exposed and that was enough for Hanji. 

 

She snarled, and before he could regain his balance she slashed his neck. I gaped as I watched his head loll off his neck and his body collapse. Blood spurted out like a fountain from his neck and began to pool around Hanji's feet. 

  
  
"Gah, I love blood!" Hanji said happily, her eyes trailing the red liquid with disturbingly dreamy eyes. Ryder's friend howled as he crawled towards Ryder's body and whispered, "Ryder..get up, get up." 

  
  
I collapse on my stomach, curling up again. I did not just watch someone beheading a man, even if it was a man I didn't form any good ideas about.recently.

  
_Could I just wake up from this nightmare already?_

 

"So, do you want to fight next, _Bertie_?" Hanji's curious voice asked in front of me. There was some rustling after she asks the question and before I could discern what was going on I heard someone spit on the ground and the unmistakable sound of someone running away. Somehow I knew it was the man who was with Ryder.  

 

I coughed because of the dust floating around due to all the movement, and in turn the cough caused my stomach to ache more. The pain had receded to a dull throb now. I contemplated on asking Hanji's help because I couldn't get up without someone's help but I was so scared of her. 

 

Well it didn't matter if I was scared or not, because Hanji started to walk towards me. 

 

"Oh cutie, with all the fighting I didn't even pay much attention to you," I heard Hanji mutter as she approached me. Realistically, if she had changed her mind in the last second about killing me, then she would have killed me by now, so I used that chain of thought to calm my self down. _There was no reason to freak out, no reason to freak out, no reas-_

   
  
She sighed, "They hurt you bad huh?" I could feel the sympathy in her voice. I nodded softly before relaxing myself further. I uncurled myself from the cocoon, belatedly realizing that it was rude to act so defensive when the fact was that had she saved my life whether I liked it or not. I owed her a lot, and I could begin repaying that debt by starting to be nice. 

 

"Ye-yeah" I croaked feebly. _Fuck, my voice sounded awful._

  
  
"Hey, don't worry! I know a doctor in the town. My horse is grazing just a few meters away, if we leave now then we can reach there in a few hours!"   
  
Why was this lady so damn scary and kind? "Thank you" I whisper. She fought off men, saved my life and on top of that she was ready to take me to the doctor's... Tears gathered in my eyes, I don't know why. Maybe because she was the only person who showed me this much kindness after what happened to me today. And I guess it caused me to be emotional.

  
"We should leave, well, now," she mumbles, "The Military Police is so damn predictable. The man that just ran away? he's gone to bring backup. Men just don't get when they should back off, do they!" She laughs, "I can't beat them up and take you to the doctor in time okay? So let's get you up!" 

  
"Thank you again, Miss Hanji!" I try again to get up and this time she helps me. I fight the pain coursing through me, and felt relieved at the fact I could _finally_ get up. Once I do, I look up and smile at her, never realizing that it was the first time I saw her face properly since she was so near me and there was no Ryder and his partner distracting us.

 

And that is what I thought was same about me, she never saw me before right? The second my eyes met her she sort of..freezes. Her face morphed into a horrified look and her mouth fell open before jerking away from me like she got a shock from my body. I almost fell down without her support but I managed to balance myself. _What the fuck?_ Why did she look like she saw a ghost? 

 

I take a step towards her and she takes one back, her eyes not wavering off me. I could see emotions on her face, grief, loss, the sheer look of disbelief, but from what?   
  
"Um, Miss Hanji?" I ask softly. Was she having a stroke? even if I was studying to become a doctor, I wouldn't know exactly since I was dreaming.

 

 _.... I had to be dreaming,_ even if I got punched so hard that it had me seeing stars. I still held on to the idea of me waking up and being back in my world. I didn't want to be here, _how did I even get here?_ It had to be a dream.

 

"I...I.." Hanji whispered, and to my horror, her eyes welled up, she looked like she would break down anytime now. 

  
I start to ask her again what was wrong, but this time she cut me off with a agonized wail. Yeah she was definitely having a stroke, what else reason could there be for her to suddenly get to upset? Did I do something?  
  
She _did_ start to cry when she saw me, did I somehow cause her to break down?  

  
  
"I am dreaming aren't I? Is this my punishment?" She looks at me with wide watery eyes, "It can't be... _Eren_?"   
  
I look at her with confused expression, "How did you know my name?" I don't remember me or the other two men calling me by my name once. How the hell did Hanji know my name? 

  
  
She ignores my question, but my reply caused something in her and she falls on her knees and her blades clattered on the ground beside her. 

 

"How...how are you alive, Eren? You're...su- supposed to be.. dead." 

 

_Dead?!_

***

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know a lot of people probably got confused at the fact when Eren thought he was dreaming and didn't open his eyes at once. You can smell smoke in the air Eren!! open your damn eyes!! 
> 
> It is due to the fact I trained myself not to open my eyes the second I wake up since I suffer from sleep paralysis. Not fun :( So when I was writing the chapter I just wrote along without realizing how odd it looked. 
> 
> And as for the second guy, his name is, infact, not Bertie. When I was looking up google for a name that meant messenger, Ryder popped up and I gave it the name to the first OC. It was due to my third time rewriting a certain part of the scene that I realized that if I switched 'd' in Ryder with 'n' then it would have sounded like Reiner. So that's why I had Hanji give the other guy the nickname Bertie :) 
> 
> There are a lot of things that do not make sense in the chapter, I know. I am just building it up, don't worry i'll explain stuff as I go.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A filler chapter, really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HULLO HULLO!
> 
> I am so sorry I didn't update earlier but ugh, I do have reasons! 
> 
> -I started writing this chapter days ago but I didn't have sufficent word count to publish it (it was like ~1 K words when I was done with it) 
> 
> So instead I combined two chapters in one!
> 
> -this is, ah, the dreaded exams week (I mean my exams are in January but still) so i spent time studying (wow)
> 
> \- also the new snk chapter came out and I am very upset. This would have been up yesterday but the chapter happened. It deeply shook me.  
> So yeah, this fic ain't going to be canon compliant anytime soon, lmao. 
> 
> On the plus side I'm posting this on my birthday! Yes my birthday wish was for Riren to be canon, what else can you except from me? Oh well, enjoy!

_Dead?_  
  
I blinked at Hanji, wondering if I should run away, cause even though she saved my life, this was a different level of crazy.  Was she hallucinating?  maybe I reminded her of someone? I couldn't really focus on my thoughts as the dull throbbing stole my attention. I needed to get to the doctor _asap._

 

Hanji said it was a few hours worth of riding, but would I make it before nightfall? 

  
  
I sigh and look up to the sunny sky and squint at the barest hints of cloud speckled in the azure background, even if I wanted to go to the doctor I needed help to achieve that. I didn't know where the doctor was neither I wanted to run in Ryder's friends and face them on my way there. 

I take in a deep breath and turn to her. She is still on her knees, staring at every movement I made. It was unnerving, and frankly, annoying. 

  
  
"Why do you think I am dead?" I finally ask her. 

  
  
"Cause you died," she replied bluntly. 

  
  
I took in another deep breath, w _hat kind of an answer was that?_  "I am not dead." I say bluntly. Couldn't she see me standing in front of her?

   
  
Apparently Hanji doesn't see that, because the next second she stands up gracefully and hisses at me, "Of course you're dead! I have proof that you died! This makes no sense! How are you here? What are you? are you a doppelganger?" She rapidly fires questions at me as her eyes narrows as she looks up and down at me in contempt, "or is the Capital shitty enough to send in a spy that looks like Eren among us!"

  
  
"Eh?" I am so confused by all of her questions and most of them didn't make any sense. By now I was sure that she was certainly a different level of crazy. _Doppelganger?_ _spy_? _capital_? what the hell was she accusing me of?

  
  
"Firstly," I mutter, trying to ignore the pain that coloured my voice, "I am not dead. Second, I have no clue what you're talking about- I have no clue what the hell is going on! One second I am reading this book and the next second I am in this weird as fuck place where the police attacks me for no goddamn reason and a crazy lady is accusing me of being my own doppleganger! This hurts my brain as much as my stomach. Fuck this, I want to go back to my home!"

  
  
With that I turn around with full intentions of walking back to the place where I had opened my eyes, but now that my gaze fell on the humongous wall, a thought entered my mind: how did I come here? My home wasn't even near such a wall, where was I? Where was my home even? Why doesn't anything make sense? I could feel a headache forming and a cold sense of dread settle in me. _What was all this?_

  
  
"You're .. Eren right?" Hanji murmurs quietly, and I turn around to face her.

 

"Yeah I am," I explained again, "Eren Jaeger." 

  
  
"Are your parents names Carla and Grisha Jaeger?" 

 

I raise my eyebrows at that, "You know them?" _weird._

 

  
Hanji bites her lip before looking away, "you're not a good spy, you know." 

 

I stare at her in disbelief, "For fucks sake lady! I swear to you I am not a spy! You somehow know my parents and you know me! are you sure you're not suffering from brain damage or something?" 

  
  
It was the wrong thing to ask, she didn't exhibit the signs of strokes but I had no idea how to explain what was going on with her. She looked healthy enough to me, more than healthy, she was a goddamn military person. But who knew what a person was suffering from mentally? 

  
  
"Hanji." She says quietly. 

  
  
I snap back to present, "Huh?" I ask. Did I say her name wrong or what? 

  
  
"I'm not a _she_ ," Hanji stresses, "I'm just Hanji."

  
It takes me a few seconds to realize what Hanji means but when it hits me, the overwhelming guilt does too, "Holy Shit! I am so so so sorry" I apologize profusely, forgetting anything I had just said. _Shit, shit, shit, I didn't mean to misgender them!_

 

"It's okaaaaay,I am not offended!" 

  
  
"I am so sorry, I am an asshole I-" 

  
"Eren," They don't look very pleased now, _fuck_ , "Or whoever you are I am not upset! mistakes happen. That isn't what I care about, What I do is that if you're someone else, which i think you are, masquerading as Eren then I am not going to forgive you for tarnishing his name like this." 

  
  
I open my mouth to reply but I am interrupted by a neighing nearby. 

  
  
"Ah!" Hanji's eyes suddenly turn soft and they smile widely, "Seems like Spectacles is done eating!" 

 

 _Spectacles_?

  
  
"You..named your horse spectacles?" I ask incredulously, _who named their horse Spectacles?_    

  
  
"Huh? YEAH I DID!" They sound excited, "It is to piss someone off!" 

  
  
"Who gets pissed by a horse named spectacles?" I question aloud curiously as I searched for the neighing horse .Spectacles did it again and I figure the horse is at the east of me. 

  
  
"Why? Someone who nicknamed me that!"

  
  
 I was..confused, very much stupefied with what Hanji was speaking about, which wasn't anything new, but I was rapidly getting tired of it. The best course of action was to declare them insane, as it was the only way to preserve my sanity. With that in mind I keep quiet and follow them to where Spectacles was grazing. It was a large brown majestic horse which looked like the horse version of Hanji, sleek, strong, but hopefully in its right mind. Spectacles was already saddled to my surprise, and because of that I fully expected Hanji to climb up the horse or walk it along with me to the doctor's. What I didn't expect was them to give me a "go ahead" signal. Maybe they wanted me to become friendly with the horse because of the journey? 

 

  
_Well,_ I didn't mind that, even if my stomach was screaming at me from the pain. But I was getting used to being under constant distress, but I had a feeling that i'll faint soon if this continues like this.

 

I approach the horse from the sides, and slowly inch forward. The ears was the key. Spectacles watched me draw closer, but the horse's ears were relaxed. It didn't change as I walked up to the face. Feeling confident that I wasn't going to be kicked in the balls now, I offer my hand slowly, and the horse sniffs me out. Once it recognizes that I am not a threat, Spectacles offered me the furry brown neck. _Yep_ , the horse wanted me to scratch. So I obeyed. 

  
"D'awww, good girl Spectacles!" Hanji croons like a proud momma, "You always tend to bite people or kick them! This guy must be special!" 

  
  
_Uh_..I start to retract my hand back at Hanji's words, but Spectacle didn't like that, she moves a bit closer to me and so I had no choice but to continue scratching her. We stay like that for atleast five minutes, and for some reason I could exactly imagine Hanji's eyes going all gooey and emotional from seeing Spectacles being friendly. 

  
  
"Uh..Hanji," I say softly, once Spectacles has calmed down and my attention goes back to the throbbing stomach, "I feel like I'm going to faint soon." 

  
  
"Right! Oh dear me, can you get up on the horse? I can help ya!" Hanji trudges towards me and before I could do anything, wrap their arms around me very tightly. 

  
  
"Oof," I grunt from the sudden pain and surprise, that turned my legs into jelly from the sudden wave of weakness. But Hanji holds on tight, "I think I'm fine I just..doctor." I whisper softly, feeling weaker second by second. 

  
"Uhh I think it's a better idea if we leave the place now, it will be nightfall before we can make it to the doctor. And things .. lurk here after dark," Hanji says distastefully. 

  
"So what should we do?" I mutter worriedly, if I didn't go to the doctor's I might as well be fucked. Painkillers, that's what I needed urgently. 

  
  
"Oh silly me! I forgot to mention! I am a scientist! I can fix you right up! I just don't have the supplies."

  
  
_And they tell me this now,_ I would have liked to scream but I didn't have the strength, Hanji got lucky this one time.   
  
They continue as if nothing happened, "I'll take you to where my.. stuff is and treat you there. It's going to a shitshow," They mutter, "I'll help you up the horse then you can go right to sleep!" 

  
  
I nod feebly and Hanji helps me up the saddle, they get up behind me and positions me in a way so that I wouldn't fall down. 

 

Their eyes roam over me one last time to make sure I wouldn't fall down. Once sure though, they take the reins and screams, "Hiya!" at the Spectacles, who neighs and starts to walk before gradually the gait turned into a jog and then a full powerful gallop. The movement hurt my stomach but all I could was to hold on. And in somewhere doing that, that got to much for me and I blackened out.

 

****

 

I don't know if it was the pain that woke me up or the hunger but I opened my sleepy eyes and slowly sat up. I blinked my eyes as they adjusted to my surroundings. The first thing I notice is that Spectacles was standing atop a huge grassy hill and Hanji was sitting just a few steps away. They gazed at me and I noticed the shock and disbelief in those brown eyes before they looked away to mask it. I got down with a lot of difficult and patted Specs on her side once my feet touched the ground, but she ignored me in favour for more grazing. 

  
  
"Why did we stop?" I ask groggily as I joined Hanji, I sat down carefully as not to aggravate the pain further. It didn't work though, and I flinched.

  
   
"Spectacles can't carry our weight for long, Ere-uhm..," They falter at my name and look away, "She started to get tired and so I stopped, you didn't miss out much though since you woke up just after a few minutes." 

  
  
_Oh_ , so it was the lack of movement which made me wake up, "Oh okay," I surmised quietly. 

  
  
There was a slight breeze blowing and especially since we were in the shade of the walls, it chilled my bones. I wish I was wearing appropriate clothing instead of slacks and a plain white shirt as I shivered and my teeth clattered but hey, if i had known I would be thrown in a different world I would have definitely dressed up more comfortably.   
  
_Better yet_ , had I known I would have been here I wouldn't have entered my apartment at all, and just would have gone back to my parent's. I'd ask my mom to cook me something, maybe practiced Krav Maga or helped Mikasa to get ready for her red carpet premier. I could have done a thousand different things but somehow I ended up in this situation. And although I am here now, I have to think of a way to get back to my world.

A thought flit through my mind: If I was here then what was going on in my world at this very moment? 

  
"I think Spectacles is ready now," Hanji says cautiously, before getting up stiffly. I made a move to get up after them and that is when I notice their hands go to where they have their blades tucked in. They rest their fingers at the hilt, but relax their stance once I was up and had taken a step away from them. 

  
This annoyed me to no end. I didn't carry any weapons or anything for them to be scared of me! Why were they acting like I am untrustworthy and ready to back-stab them at any second?

  
  
"I am not going to hurt you, you know that right?" I say in a frustrated voice. They glance at me and walk towards Spectacles without any comment. 

  
  
"Hanji," I emphasize, "I don't know why you don't like me, but I won't hurt you." 

  
  
They finally respond with a snort, "You won't be able to lay a finger on me, trust me. I just don't understand why you just don't tell me the truth about you being a spy?" 

  
  
I sigh, they were still rambling on about that. 

  
  
"I am not a spy," I repeat myself for the umpteenth time, gosh I was getting tired, and hungry. Really hungry now, by the way. 

  
  
"Then how do you exist? Eren Jaeger is dead! Yet here you are, his spitting image, I don't understand." Hanji looked frustrated and angry. They glared at me, like it was all my fault! 

 

_Oh hell no._

  
  
"If I had any fucking clue how I ended up here I would have told you! How am I supposed to be dead AND be a spy then? If you don't like me, I'll damn well walk my way back, I don't care if those idiots find me and kill me! atleast they don't think I am dead or a stupid ass spy!"   
  
I turn around and start to walk towards the way we came from. It was getting dark and I couldn't see the town anymore, just plain grassy hills as far as I could see. Damn we traveled a lot. I was so much in pain and I was fucking famished and tears clung to my eyelashes. I was finally breaking down from the stress and the bleakness of the situation. But atleast if I die I would die as Eren Jaeger, not by some crazy ass person who had outrageous ideas about me.

   
  
I heard Hanji sigh, "Come back, I believe you." 

  
  
I freeze.

  
  
"Eren, you won't make it very far if I don't get you help," They still sounded annoyed though. 

  
  
Holy hell, they believed me? Did I convince them I was not a spy? I turn around quickly and there they were, standing beside Spectacles, eyes still slightly suspicious as they bore into mine. 

 

But the second they saw tears running down my face their face falls. Their eyes turn tender and I had the feeling for the first time that this was the real Hanji I was looking at. 

  
  
"Don't cry" They mumble, "Let's go" 

 

"You believe me?" I whisper as I start to walk back. They help me up without a comment and Specs neighed at us because of all the movement.  
  
Hanji sighed as they swung up behind me; I  was fully ready to throw a tantrum if they didn't answer me. I wasn't leaving till I was sure. 

 

"I.. don't," I open my mouth but they interrupt me, "You do raise valid questions but unless I don't do my own investigations I won't be fully sure, for that I need to be back at my camp, and you need to be there if you want to treated. So let's stop having this conversation till we reach our destination, and I promise you Eren, I will bring this topic back up again."

  
  
I heard a slight threat in their voice and I got the unspoken meaning: they were threatening that me if I did _not_ turn out to be Eren then there would be consequences. This would have scared me to death because there was nothing worse than pissing of a mad, but insanely strong person. But I didn't have anything to hide so I nodded. I just needed food and some damn painkillers, and I was ready to shut up till then.   
  
Pleased with me agreeing, Hanji commands Specs to start moving and she starts to run again at their words.   
   
  
"You can go off to sleep again" They uttered as the silence became awkward between us but I shake my head. All I could think about was food and painkillers; how long has it been since I ate? a day? my stomach rumbled in conformation. _Holy shit,_ I haven't had anything to eat in over twenty four hours!  
  
  
I don't know how Hanji heard that with all the sounds of wind gushing and hooves thundering against the ground but they did, and then I felt something slide in my hands.   
  
"Eat," they command, and I look down at the packet of cookies in my hand. My stomach growled in response to it and before I knew I tore open the packet as quickly I could do with my quivering fingers and munched down on the softness. The sweetness of the chocolate burst into my mouth and I think I moaned; they may have been crumbled but they were heavensent. 

  
  
"Thank you," I babble as I stuff more of the cookies in my mouth. _Mmm,_ crunchy. 

 

"I say see now why _he_ gets mad when I eat and speak," they winced but I could care less. So I change the topic.

   
"Hanji," I ask between the bites, "What, what would it take me to make you believe I am not a spy?" 

 

They answered after a minute, "The Capital wouldn't be that stupid to send a spy after what happened, since I have the proof you died but at the same time how are you here? you just can't be a look alike if you have the same name and look exactly like the Eren I knew... unless I conduct my own investigation and figure out what is going on. Till then you can't convince me of not being a spy."   
  
"I'm sorry," I offered, while wondering myself. Was Hanji really speaking the truth about having the proof that I died? _and what if they did?_

  
There were so many questions, and I wanted answers to right now. 

  
  
"I feel like this is the wrong time to ask but.. Don't you work for the government?" I implored. 

  
  
Hanji affirms with a curt "Yes."

 

"Then, do you work with those men who attacked me?" 

  
  
Hanji laughs at that, "I will never work with those wusses! Yes I work for the government but I am the Survey Corp's squad leader. Way higher up position than a sentry at the edge of a town!" 

  
  
_Holy shit, a squad leader? that was amazing!_

  
  
"Yeah isn't it?" Hanji grins and I realize I said my thoughts out loud. 

  
  
"So.." I venture again, "What's Survey Corps?" 

  
  
"It's..a  part of government too, except do you see the wall? we go outside it for..reasons." 

 

I gape as I turn to face the wall we're galloping parallel to.  That was just .. astounding, and a little scary. What was outside the walls? why was there a wall? did it keep the people safe from something or kept the things outside safe from the inside? It was intriguing and for a second an image flitted through my mind: of a big forest and dark winding pathways. I think Hanji could feel questions forming in my head because they interrupted me before I  could say anything,

  
  
"I know you have a lot of questions but we're almost there now. Ask them later!" 

  
  
I blink, "We're almost here?" Thoroughly distracted I look around but I couldn't see anything. Just trees and the wall. 

  
"Yeah!" Hanji chirped excitedly, "We're at the outskirts! We'll be there in just a few hours!" 

  
  
I looked around with piqued interest. I had no idea where we were heading to but I was psyched up. All I could think was that finally, my wounds can be taken care of. 

 

Finally my questions would be answered. 

  
  
I could hold my tongue for a few hours alright, because it was worth the wait. 

 

  
  
  
So when a few hours later Hanji taps my shoulders and points at a gray building towards which Specs was galloping, I gasped. It looked small, built near the edge of the wall. But as we neared I realized it was huge. There were other buildings too, and camps. All cleverly hidden behind the tree foliage.   
  
My heartbeat picked up and that caused my stomach to throb harder in pain. I grunted but didn't say anything because Specs finally slowed down. I could see a few people now, milling about near a stable where I guess we were going towards. 

  
  
"Eren," Hanji says happily, "We're here. Welcome to the Survey Corps!"

  
  
I smile, finally, we were here.  This is where I could get help.

Finally I could get some answers and figure out how to do back to my own world. 

 

Finally. 

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was waiting so bad to write the next chapter that's why this is so rushed. Because finally I am going to be introducing Mikasa! 
> 
> Also none of the other members of 104th are going to be in the fic, I'll be explaining later. 
> 
> Have a wonderful day!


End file.
